sofasurfers

How many Spanish firefighters does it take to change a wheel?

No it’s not a joke! Nor is it the start of the story. It’s about halfway through a tale that begins at the railway station of Ulan-Ude, where I am met by my fifth host, the 25-year-old Buddhist Buryatian Zhenya, and her current guests (her first ever couchsurfers, it turns out - three Spanish firefighters). We go home, quickly dump my stuff, and get straight back in the car to meet her friends for dinner. Now Zhenya doesn’t have her driving licence, so when it came to parallel parking, all four of us were on hand, with the ‘bit mores’, ‘right hand downs’, ‘STOP!!’. But we were a bit too slow - she had punctured her tyre on a metal spike. ‘Don’t worry!’ chorus the three Spanish firefighters. ‘We can fix this!’

So how many Spanish firefighters does it take to change a wheel? More than three evidently. They were quickly pushed aside by a local who had the new wheel on in no time. We went in to celebrate with a Chinese meal, where I got to tell my perfectly relevant joke…

Me: Did you hear about the two Spanish firefighters?

Them: No

Me: They were called Hose A and Hose B

Them: Oh

Me: You know! Like Jose?! No?!

Unfortunately, my perfectly relevant joke was somewhat lost in translation.

Anyway, it turns out that the Buryatian way to welcome new friends is even more alcoholic than the Russian way (we had five consecutive vodka toasts in the back of her friend’s car, and there were no ‘nos’ about it - and that was just the very beginning), and saw us all rolling around drunk until 5 this morning in a nightclub. So drunk that I woke up still with my contact lenses in (so REALLY drunk) and fully clothed. And somehow I managed to mislay my BlackBerry - I remain hopeful that I can find it as I didn’t take it into the club with me…Anyway, I have a Russki phone which I can be reached on - 007 (like James Bond, see?) 916 648 4071 if you need me urgently (you do need me urgently, don’t you?! Oh say you do!).