sofasurfers

So there I am, minding my own business… (and so these stories always
start – “once upon a time, minding my own business”…), standing in
the street, sending an SMS when I hear the words, “May I help you?” Oh
I’m OK, thank you. “I can help you?” This young, polite lady seems
insistent on helping, and since I was about to try and locate a wifi
cafe, I think to myself, good timing! “Pardon?” In-ter-net? [Blank
face] In-ter-net? Oh I’m OK really, thank you. But still she’s keen:
“Please – excuse me?” So to save face for her, I draw a computer in my
notebook. And she swiftly puts her arm in mine and walks me up the
street. Hmmm, is she abducting me, I wonder. Why does she want me so
much? I instinctively, suspiciously pat my possessions in my coat, and
we continue with our real-life game of Pictionary and charades. “One
yuan for bus!” she commands. Oh I can’t get a bus – I’m going to the
opera in the park. “Pardon?” And so it goes on… We swap names (she
is “Moon”), and decide against locating an “electric brain” (how the
Mandarin for ‘computer’ translates), and instead she helps me find the
opera (which takes considerable street mime on my part to explain). We
pick up a friend, “Star”, who scores similarly highly on both bad

where they are surprised that I am surprised. “Not at night, you?” Not
ever aerobics in public, me!

Finally we arrive at the theatre in the park, where she offers me some
of her strange dried fish,

and where the actors are putting on the make-up in public view

and insists I call her tomorrow. Wondering quite how successful such a
phone call would be, I grin and agree, delighted by our strange little
intercourse, her dutiful dedication to helping me, and the blessing of
being able to waste time like this.